Newspapers on the lawn, idiots at home and dog shit on the sidewalk

I live in a ridiculous subdivision with ridiculous people. Some of the houses are original equipment and others are McMansions. Unfortunately, none of them are cheap anymore. BMWs, Lexi – expensive cars everywhere. And expensive landscaping. You get the idea.

A few days ago a local newspaper – the Examiner – started dropping free copies off at everybody’s house. Some sort of circulation drive, I’m sure. But here’s the thing, you wouldn’t believe how many of these buffoons in these expensive houses with their expensive landscaping won’t pick the fuckers up off the sidewalk or driveway. They just leave’ em there, getting trampled and wet and looking like hell. I mean, really, how fucking stupid is that? What are they trying to prove? You’ve got this extravagant look-at-me-house and you won't even bend over to pick up a newspaper that's trashing the front yard? WTF?

AND ANOTHER THING – that isn’t exactly related but might be somehow, but I can’t figure out how. I was out running this morning and for some reason I saw lots, and lots of individual helpings of dog-doo on the sidewalk. We used to have a dog who would crap while he walked, spreading his business out over the course of 20 feet or so before we’d notice, so I know what this is. It’s not unusual, except that it was everywhere. Well, not everywhere, but there was a lot of it. More than you’d expect.

Spread out too. I saw it in several places over a three-mile run.

Is today National Drop Your Dogshit On The Sidewalk Day and I didn’t get the memo? We have three dogs and could have made a real contribution to this.