There was a time when I was convinced that the biggest asshole neighbors we'd ever had were the people who planted bamboo along the property line. The bamboo, as bamboo does, crept into our yard as well as theirs. And if you've ever tried to eliminate bamboo, you know it's hard and expensive. Turns out that the house behind us was sold to even bigger asshole neighbors who built one of those hideous tract mansions -- complete with outbuilding garage about 6 feet from our rear property line.
But the bamboo --- which now exists only on our side of the fence has created a fairly effective screen. So there's that.
But even if that bamboo hadn't turned out to be a saving feature of our lot, the new Biggest Asshole neighbors are the folks next door who put a fucking basketball hoop up on their driveway -- just a few feet from our bedroom (where we used to like to sleep in a bit one day of the weekend) and our dining room (where we used to like to sit quietly and read the Sunday paper).
So now it seems that ever fucking monster in the neighborhood has a basketball. And those who don't make do with a soccer ball. And they are all down here all day on weekends bouncing the fucking ball and screaming and hollering. It seems we now live next door to Playground Central.
The asshole yuppie pukes who populate this neighborhood think we all want to share in the noise and chaos of their little monsters at play. News flash: I don't.
I have three dogs. When they bark, I tell them to stop because my guess is that the neighbors don't want to listen to my dogs barking. That's a courtesy my neighbors aren't inclined to extend to us or anybody else who doesn't enjoy listening to children shriek.
If there was, let's say, a dog park in my front yard, full of barking and yapping playing dogs all afternoon and evening, you can bet the YP's would find it annoying, and ask us to keep it down. But somehow, we're all supposed to enjoy sharing their brats' childhoods.
The self-centered approach to life by pricks like these is one of the major reasons I hate living in the suburbs so much.
I guess we're lucky the people next door didn't install a floodlight so the basketball court could be used after dark too. But let's wait and see what the spring brings.
